I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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