So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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