I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize