2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
