Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
