I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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