He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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