i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
