I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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