3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize