planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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