you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize