I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
