I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
