Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
