just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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