How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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