Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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