Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
