You're my little dorito
Porn is love you can see.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize