Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize