my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
