I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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