Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize