My friends, they love my intelligence
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
