That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
