so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
