I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
