If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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