Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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