yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize