Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
