why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
