32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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