Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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