woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
