hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
