I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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