sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Four minutes until I can fart!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
