I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
