dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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