i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I smell stomach acid.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
