Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
