there was a trapeze. enough said
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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