the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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