so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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