Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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