It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
