We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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