The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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