"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
