If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
