So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
