Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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