I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize