moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just crazy horny about you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
