Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He? As in you personified your dick?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
