If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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