I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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