Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize