Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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