i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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