i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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