i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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