I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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